Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
