Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
