I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
