is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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