Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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