let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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