if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
