Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
