i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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