I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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