You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
