it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
