the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
