lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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