Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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