Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
