So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
