The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
