so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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