As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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