A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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