Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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