I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
