I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
