Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
