Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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