hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I want a musical about memes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize