Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
