oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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