his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
