So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
