I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize