fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
