i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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