we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
