Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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