I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
