Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
