We're facebook friends in real life
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He passed out mid-signature
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All the doctor said was why
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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