How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have aggressive nipples.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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