If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
