dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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