where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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