is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
