did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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