so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
