he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
