he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
