Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
