Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
