I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
