I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
